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We and the Girls of Thailand

How many times have Thai women been stereotyped and misrepresented on the Internet? Well, I've lost count. Most Thai women I know don't fit into any of the labels. There are a broad spectrum of Thai women who differ in beliefs, tradition, education, financial situation and values. It is an oversimplification to assume that thirty million Thai women belong to any particular category. Why is there a need for these assumptions? Perhaps, there is a psychological explanation. Perhaps it is simple ignorance.

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The benefits of mixed marriages - Thai women find security and comfort while farang men discover the joy that living with a large family can bring.

Why I never married a thai - 5 issues that highlight the main differences between Thai and Western culture and which undermined the relationships with Thai girlfriends.

Mixed marriages, mixed blessings - Thailand is fast becoming the land full of foreign son-in-laws, with the number of cross-cultural marriages rising at around 10 per cent a year.

FARANG'S WIVES - Khon Kaen caves in - The West comes knocking on the Northeast's door, and somehow this little city remains gentle and quiet.

Long way from home - It's okay if the 'koey farang' of Isaan have to tell their wives where the Christmas bunting goes.

Isaan's not ready for the worldwide wooing on the Web - All but a few local women met foreign hubbies the old way.


A Thai woman's view: Don't blame Isaan wives; women are all the same

I've never thought of dating a farang. I've never thought of getting married to a farang.I've never thought of staying abroad with a farang husband. But I'm by no means romantically xenophobic and I do understand why an increasing number of Thai women prefer Westerners to Thai men. It is also easily understood that Thai women are a popular choice for foreigners seeking help from Internet matchmakers.

What I doubt is the research finding by Khon Kaen University which suggests that Isaan women who marry foreigners cause major social changes, as they adopt their husbands' customs and lifestyles. The research, led by Asst Professor Supawatanakorn Wongtha-nawasu, on the effect of cross-cultural marriages on families in the northeast of Thailand made headlines and caused hot discussions in Internet chat rooms.

Well, it is just too hard to swallow when the study says that Isaan wives are more fond of Western fast food like pizza or hamburgers rather than their staple somtam (papaya salad) and pla-ra (fermented fish).

I guess the research methodology was a questionnaire. If it was, why don't we adjust a question and ask the 231 respondents in the same study: "What would you choose if you had to eat the same food for a week?" We'll give them choices of somtam, hamburger or pizza. We shall see if somtam has lost its charm and whether foreign husbands make the spicy yet delicious dish dull.

With a spouse, regardless of nationality, a girl or woman will always adapt, more or less. Compromise is the route to the goal of a smooth relationship. If you are dating an Indian, you would gradually get used to the smell of masala, and the same applies, with other nationalities, to getting familiar with the likes of blue cheese or anchovies.

Isaan wives are just like us when it comes to relationships and friendships. So it is not strange to see they celebrate Christmas in a joyful way. If foreigners make sacrifices to stay with them in Thailand and take care of their families, making sure that they have a good time on Christmas Day is just part of the couple's effort to keep their marriage on a rosy path - particularly when the foreign husband is the breadwinner.

It may be too simplistic to read from the same research that the foreigners' wives in the Northeast are not so enthusiastic about traditional Thai holidays like Buddhist Lent and Makha Bucha Day. It is unfair to them to arrive at such a conclusion. Try inquiring of city women and see which day is celebrated more: Makha Bucha Day or Christmas Day? Get my point?

Ironically it is Isaan women who have married foreigners and lived abroad who maintain the spirit of Buddhist holidays and festivals like Songkran by frequently visiting Thai temples. Fortunately, we haven't heard any complaints that they have caused changes in their new society by going to the Thai temples too often. No one petitions us that tom yum goong has become too popular because of Thai wives living in foreign countries.

The Isaan women in the study were an easy target for stereotyping. True, they are more exposed to foreign culture through their other halves, and they may have adopted some Western ways of life. But are they really different from city women who carry Louis Vuitton, wear Prada shoes and dine out at Western restaurants?

Perhaps the way the Isaan women have started enjoying pizza is just the same as city women who worship foreign designer brand names. The real difference is that women in the capital need not date a foreigner or marry one to adopt his culture. And even when a city woman starts seeing a Westerner, she probably doesn't need to change a thing, for she has already been Westernised enough.

And if one wants to target an Isaan women for marrying a foreigner for economic reasons, please think again. Do not forget that many wealthy Thai women, and especially those in the middle-classes, also take economic reasons into consideration when they choose their life partner.

As for Thai men, they may have realised by now that cross-cultural marriages are on the rise. Thai men have to ask themselves why - since they come in a good, compatible package and appreciate the taste of somtam?

Some women are finding foreigners more dependable? I bet the answer is not all about money!


Thai Girls

Amazing!




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